YOU'RE ENGAGED!!!! Now what.....
CONGRATULATIONS!! You just had one of the most important questions asked that you will ever be asked. Some of us may have dreamt of this moment our whole life-and were convinced a glass slipper may be involved, not naming any names here (hi, it’s me.). Some may have never even thought of it before. I will admit that some of my favorite engagement stories happen when one person leasts expects it-as in “I am annoyed you are going the wrong way to the restaurant-don’t you know it is over there?” To then being taken on a romantic gondola ride in the middle of the city with some of your people at the end of it ready to celebrate your yes.
You ride that adrenaline high for a hottttt second and then begins the planning. I am going to list 10(ish) things to think about doing at the beginning of your planning with the knowledge there are exceptions to every rule (insert-name that movie). For instance, some of us are super planners and organized and have been planning this day since our second date. And by us-I really mean those super organized, enneagram one’s out there. But for the rest of us that have a tendency to dream about it but may not actually plan it here are a few tips.
1.) First things first. Figure out a budget. All things flow from your decisions on how much money you want to spend. And things in the wedding world add up quickkkkkk. But no need to fret or get overwhelmed because one of the KEY things to remember at any point in the planning process is that at the end of the day none of it really matters because you get to start a new chapter with your person.
2.) Then you are going to want to decide what is a priority to you. Do you love food? Then plan on putting a good chunk of that budget for that. Are your photos-ahem- most important? Or do you love the cinemographic way that your wedding day can be covered? Perhaps, you are one that literally just wants to show up on your wedding day and have everything be done for you-then your first call really needs to be a planner. (I am going to list a few of my favorites from each of these categories at the bottom so if you want to skip 3-10 (ish) go right ahead.)
3.) Hereeeee we go. Now, we are getting to the gooood part. Most vendors book out 12-18+ months in advance. Depending on the time of year you get married some may not have even opened their books yet for the year you plan on celebrating. When choosing your vendors figure out the “style” or “vibe” that you are going for because there is a planner/HMU/photographer/videographer/venue that fit just about every need. Do you like warm/romantic/somewhat imperfect photos? Then you typically won’t love (as much at least) the more pristine/perfect/classic photos? Both are beautiful-it really is just what you prefer. Like comparing apples to oranges. Both are good-it is just depends on what you prefer at this moment in your life.
Do you want to go full out glam on your wedding day-then your best bet would be to pick a HMU artist that shows in their portfolio they are known for that. Social media is a great way to find these vendors by searching hashtags or key words. (for instance if you are getting married in Minneapolis you would want to search Minneapolis wedding hair or Minneapolis wedding-you will be surprised at how small the industry really is.)
4.) You have picked your budget, your “style”, and now is the time to see if your top vendors are available on your day. (Insert here-picking your day is vital before reaching out to your vendors. Most don’t hold a spot for you on their calendar unless you have picked a date and a venue. And then there is the whole retainer/contract thing-which another day and another blog.)
A few things to remember when you reach out to vendors. First, it is probably best and most convenient to reach out through their website contact form. Most have allllll the social medias and get inquiries from all directions. But it is easiest to keep track of when you go through our websites. In fact, there are some, that won’t even take your inquiry unless it is through their site. It helps us not double book ourselves and keep everyone in one email thread. Because some of us are not as organized on the business side of things as others. And when I say some of us I really mean me but I am sure there are other creatives that feel my pain-we don’t want to get bogged down in logistics. We just want to create. ;)
Some things I don’t know that many think about. When you take the time to fill out my contact form and send me that initial email-I kid you not my heart skips around my living room when that notification pops up on my screen. Many of us do this full time and our dream is to make your dreams come true. I know, for me personally, I get so excited for the possibility of getting to work with you. I don’t often get ghosted by couples that inquire but it has happened. If you chat with us, at all, and then decide to go a different way-PLEASE send a quick follow up email. Most of us would never get mad that you chose a different vendor but it is incredibly helpful for us to know that date is once again open for the next inquiry.
5.) Your dream vendor is not available? As them if they have any recommendations that have a similar style to them and/or they know to be someone that they enjoy working with.
6.) ONE of the MOST important people that I think you can hire for your wedding day is a day of coordinator/planner/designer. Clearly, I think choosing the right photographer to capture it all is also important but I will tell you there is a difference in hiring someone to manage your day vs. expecting Aunt Linda to do so. It is one of the best investments you can make from my perspective and will allow you to not only enjoy the day you are investing time and money in but also allows you to be fully present on the day of your wedding.
Pretty things don’t just happen. They often require lots of work, time, and effort (by someone). I have worked with some amazing day of coordinators/planners and outside of one or two weddings-in 100’s-I would say they were worth every cent that they were paid. You may say: “Oh, April, Aunt Linda can do that.” Or. “Oh, my mom loves designing things.” And both of those things can be true. AND when you hire someone that does it EVERY weekend-you will allow both Aunt Linda and your Mom to enjoy your day WITH you. Plus, I always tell my couples. There is always ONE of the two of you that did a majority of the planning and on your wedding day-when things are going crazy (because they will at one point or another-again, unless you are the exception not the rule.) who is the person they are going to contact to ASK all the questions to. Probably you, the one that is reading this. One of the saddest things I experience as a wedding vendor is seeing couples that have worked so hard to plan, to pay, and execute this beautiful day not really get to enjoy it because they are too busy managing others on their day.
7.) Let’s talk about other vendors. Again, if you are reading this you will know that I think picking a photographer is also one of the most important people you will pick. This topic is for another day and another time but plainly speaking-this person will be with you more than anyone else they day of your wedding. Do they capture the day beautifully? Perhaps. But more importantly-do you jive with them. Would you want to spend 8-10 hours listening to their jokes or having them help you. (Because the best of us won’t only take pretty photos. We will cheer you on, hype you up, make you laugh, and fix the under the dress slip thing that moves all the time.) Also, important to remember. These are images you are going to have FORREVERRRRR (name that movie.) so pick someone that you truly love their style, personality, and truthfully how long they have been doing this. (Again, different topic for a different day.)
8.) Picking your DJ. If I think planners are important for the full day organizational benefit, outside of the countless other things I think they do. Your DJ is the MOST important decision of your reception. Often, unless all your friends love food, most will forget your appetizers, dinner, or even dessert-that is-unless they are really good or really bad. But most will remember the party you throw. And your DJ is the one that runs that. Your cousin with spotify is great and if that is all you have in your budget you can make anything into a good party with the right music and people. HOWEVER, the value a DJ adds as an MC of the evening-I am telling you-invest in the good ones. You want someone that will get everyone not only ON the dance floor but EXCITED to BE ON the dancefloor. Not to mention it is super helpful to have someone manage the time of events during the reception. If you think that speeches just happen at the right time or the flow of the evening feels natural you can thank not only your planner but also your DJ.
I love running timelines. I LOVE working on timelines. I LOVE making up time when we have lost time during the day-it is like a game for me. But once I get to the reception-I don’t want to run the timeline anymore. I can give you ideas of when I have seen things work well at receptions-for instance, speeches work BEST when you start them after the last table has either gotten their (plated) meal OR the last table has gone THROUGH the buffet line. (Again, exceptions to every rule.) People are typically quiet while eating. Not always, and truthfully, it may depend on how open your bar was, how long your cocktail hour was, and how bit of a group you have.
Picking a good DJ is VITAL. Another day I will talk about questions to ask your DJ BEFOR your wedding but for today know this-often, in many things, but specifically in the wedding world you get what you pay for. You want someone that knows how to run a reception, is fun, exciting, and will get the party started.
9.) Picking your party. How many people do you want standing up with you on the day you make some very large promises to the love of your life. Do you want just family? Do you want a 27 Dresses situation? Do you want to skip alllllll the drama and have your dog? I think whom you pick to stand with you on your wedding day is equally important as any other detail. From a photographers view I prefer even numbers. I like the symmetry of it. Or if you do do odd numbers perhaps choose having five or seven so as to keep you front and center. That is, unless, you do NOT even want or care to be front and center and you care more about the who and not the symmetry. Over the last few years I have had some really amazing wedding parties. They were there for my couples, down for just about anything rain or shine, and were genuinely so much fun.
That being said-you know your friends best. You know the ones that will make it more challenging or will lighten the room when all emotions are high. I have a LOT of brides tell me they don’t need a personal attendant because they have ten bridesmaids. And hear me when I say this. Your bridesmaids may be the best people in the world, they could be saints, they could rescue all the puppies and donate blood every Tuesday. MOST, and again there are exceptions to this rule, but most people that are standing up for their friends in the wedding care more about how their dress/hair/pants/make up looks than in helping carry anything or grabbing this that or the other for you. And I say that with absolutely NO SHAME. It is human nature to want to look our best when being at/in an event. That being said-HIRE THE PLANNER AND be super mindful when you pick your personal attendant. Are they helpful, are they the “mom” of the group, do they prefer to take care of others than even themselves. Those are the ones you want holding your train, carrying your lipstick (or bugspray depending on the time of year you get married), or running this errand or that. Also, in regards to that planner I keep talking about-they are NOT your personal attendant for the day. They can only do so much and typically following you around all day is NOT one of them.
10.) FINALLY. I think so often in life we don’t take the time to enjoy things AS THEY ARE HAPPENING. We get so focused on the day, who will be there, who won’t be there, that we forget to enjoy the season we are IN. Wedding planning is a lot of work. It can be expensive. It can be overwhelming. But it can also be this beautiful season of getting to decide what you want YOUR day to look like. Because at the end of it-it is YOUR day. Not your parents, not your friends or siblings, but YOURS. What do YOU want it to look like. Once you figure that out-run with it and enjoy every moment of being a bride/groom.
As mentioned above I am going to share a few of my favorite vendors I have gotten to work with. This is not an inclusive list by any means and I am constantly working with new people that I LOVE. But if you need a “let’s get started list” here it is:
Planning/Design/Coordinating: Hair/Make Up:
Ashley Skeie Events Styled By Abbi. Kayla Ann Hair
Blush and Bubbly Events Make Up by Mindie. Joy Beauty Company
Piece Of Cake Wedding Planning Beauty by Heather H
Laine Palm Designs Ziel Bridal
Floral: DJ/Reception Entertainment:
Style Society Bloom Showtime Entertainment
Bella More Floral DJ Hampsterdance
The Cutting Garden Some Shitty Cover Band
Videographers: (and if they are on this list it means they are SUPER fun to work with
Blue Sky Videography Dan West Films
Made Right Wedding Videography Caroline Hunt Films
There are some really fun and unique catering companies out there too but often it depends on your venue if they have a preferred list of caterers to choose from OR they do it themselves. The BEST bar service though is Liquid Motion.
Finally a list of SOME of my favorite venues. But remember-my favorite places to capture love are places that hold your story. It could be in your backyard somewhere or one of the highest venues in the Minneapolis, Minnesota, Midwest areas. But some are really well thought out from the getting ready spaces to the ceremony sites to parking.
Ivory North. Pinewood. Earle and Wilson Event Center. The Glass House The Hidden Meadow
The Blaisdell. Cannon River Winery. Maidenwood. Royal Golf Club. Abella. The Aisling.
Redeemed Farm. Almquist Farm. Hiddent Greens. Little Log House St Paul College Club
There will probably be a day (or ten) that I share more about my favorite venues or even vendors and WHY they are my favorite. This is not an all encompassing list as I feel Minneapolis has one of the most talented wedding vendors in the nation.
Congratulations once again on your engagement. And if you made it this far and want to learn more about how YOU could save $500 off of your wedding package AND get a FREE mini session-hit that contact button-I would love to chat with you!!